40 funny jokes to keep you smiling on Blue Monday

It’s the day when the financial pressure of the Christmas just passed hangs over us most, the weather is at its worst, and the extra pounds we’ve acquired over the holiday season are proving harder to shift than we anticipated.

‘Blue Monday’, the most depressing day of the year. In 2021, that’s today - 18 January.

OK, so it might be most nonsense (the idea originated in a press release from a travel company that was shopped around to academics to sell holidays), but we can always do with a bit of a pickmeup, especially at the moment.

Here are 40 of the best Blue Monday jokes to put a smile on your face:

People say I have no will power but I’ve quit smoking loads of times.

Successful mimes: it’s always the quiet ones.

What did the cheese say when he looked in the mirror? Halloumi.

Did you hear about the cockle who went to the seafood disco? She pulled a mussel.

As a child I was raised on a points based reward system, the better I was the more points I got and points mean prizes! Just a shame the police don’t have the same ethos.

I bought a ceiling fan the other day. Complete waste of money. He just stands there applauding and saying “Ooh, I love how smooth it is.

What’s at the bottom of the ocean and shivers? A nervous wreck!

In a field of cows which one’s on holiday? The one with the wee calf.

I met this lovely Dutch girl with inflatable shoes. I gave her a call to ask her out but unfortunately she’d popped her clogs…

How many ears does Spock have? Three. The left ear, the right ear, and the final front-ear!

How did Darth Vader know what Luke got him for Christmas? He felt his presents!

What do you call a bear without any teeth? A gummy bear!

What does a baby computer call his father? Data!